Daniel: August 1, 2020, 4:29am
How do we reconcile the politeness of San Jiao Excess with the Over Controlling nature of San Jiao Excess? Help
me out with imagining a polite over controller . . .
KristinWisgirda #2August 1, 2020, 8:49pm
The warmth outward focus and detail orientation of SJ excess can easily combine to create a polite over controller.
Someone who sees the environment in such detail can’t help but want to manipulate it for the benefit of others. The
helicopter mom is classic. She cares about her kids but can overstep boundaries with the best of intentions.Think of
a houseguest who can’t help himself and organizes your cabinets in a way that you can no longer find anything.
The polite helper gone wrong. This is pure SJ excess as there is no aggression and there is caring for others.
Anyone else have other examples?
michaelmax: August 3, 2020, 2:19pm
Ha ha ha… My Jewish Mother
Very nice, and everyone says so too. But relentless in noodging until she gets her way.
Another is a patient of mine. Businessman, very formal and polite, but he wants his way and is relentless in going
for what he wants, and not averse to applying tactile amounts of GB aggression. (which keeps him in a bit of a
Shao Yang excess balance.
And then there is… dare I say… My Wife. Things MUST be in their place. Certain things (most things??) must be
done a certain way. Her intentions are good and caring. I know she means well. She rarely engages with anger or
overt aggression. But she relentless just sticks to doing things her way. She’s mean, she just politely ignores other
ways of doing things that don’t fit that SJ+ perspective of hers.
cassiopeia: August 5, 2020, 2:44am
Here is a very personal example: I made hot pepper oil and stored it in a small mason jar. The proper way to
dispense it, of course, is to use a spoon. My husband dispensed by POURING it onto his food, and let the oil run
down the side of the jar. Then there was an oil ring when he set the jar on the table. Each time he did this, I wiped
the jar and table, but he didn’t get the hint (LV excess, anyone? But that’s another story). So I wrote in sharpie on
the jar lid, “Please use a spoon, don’t pour”15/01/2024, 12:23Reconciling San Jiao Excess – Qiological Community
https://forum.qiological.com/t/reconciling-san-jiao-excess/1192/print2/2
My husband made a lot of fun of me. He didn’t understand 1. why I would care in the first place about the mess, 2.
why I cared how someone else dispensed hot pepper oil, 3. why I had to write it on the jar instead of just telling
him.
Daniel: August 5, 2020, 4:19am
eeeek. Feels like my house!
(wait till he touches the table and then rubs his eye!)